Random Redwall tale part one
by Ruerain
Summary: a humor/fantasy story that takes place in the Redwall world. Our story is opened up with Slagar the Cruel, and the many more characters that'll soon appear


On a warm summer's night, deep in Mossflower woods, a masked fox skipped happily down the dusty road. His dark blue, torn, and dirty cloak waved up and down with every merry skip. His dusty pink and indigo mask was sucking in and out with every cheerful breath he took. He grinned oafishly as he merrily skipped: ignoring the fact that he could fall over from happy-stroke.

He sang in a singsong voice as he ventured on, "A fox who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!" Although; the fact that he could go for a few singing lessons, he still continued his happy tune. "Ha-ha-ho-ho-ho, I'm the smartest being alive of all: heck, I'm smarter than a potato" he giggled.

Ever since he "magically" escaped from Malkariss's kingdom, he felt way giddier than ever. Oh yes, Slagar the magical fox ... not likely.

A little red and orange butterfly landed on Slagar's covered nose. Feeling rather over powered, Slagar snorted the little insect off his nose. "Ha-ha, stupid insect, when I'm done with you, you'll need faster wings" Slagar said, smiling wickedly. The little butterfly then fluttered sadly away.

Slagar chortled in his triumph over the bug. Foolish creature indeed. Well, Slagar then continued his little happy trip down the road for no reason.

All that went through Slagar's twisted mind, was Threeclaws dressed as a monkey, banging cymbals. Slagar grinned and closed his eyes and started singing again.

Who's in the forest skipping?  
>The birds and the bees sing Chickenhound<br>The rains are not dripping  
>For Chickypoo is around<p>

Let's face it ... the fox has been drinking one to many.

Slagar continued this single verse for one hour until a shocking event happened. Slagar's eyes grew wide for he saw two glowing orbs heading towards him in maximum speed. He froze in place with jaw wide open. Within a split second, everything in Slagar's world went completely black. He landed hard on the ground with the lower half of his body under a big black van. The last thing he saw was the many sparrows circling his head. Then he fainted.

WHAT SLAGAR DREMT WHILE UNCONSCIOUS

Slagar sat in the driver's seat of an old motor home. He was really focused on his driving, especially since he had never really had any sleep. His tired eyes stayed fixed on the night road. His pointy ears twisted as he listened to the reports on the radio.

He grinned slyly as he heard the reports of his latest victory. He turned up the radio to drown out the cries of the captured mouse that pounded at the back of his seat. The mouse cried and wept in fear and hatred. "You monster, my father would have killed you if he didn't listen to your lie, you devil!" the mouse cried growing tired.

Slagar made an abrupt stop on a nearby cliff, away from society. He got up then walked over to where the young mouse sat. The mouse's paws clenched and quivered with pure hatred.

Slagar grinned slyly at the mouse. He chuckled wickedly, "Listen mate, I don't wanna hurt you. It's just that that old mouse was getting in the way of our team, Mattimeo."

Mattimeo spat at Slagar's footpaws. "I ain't no friend of yours, neither are we a team, scum" Mattimeo barked with tears springing from his eyes.

Slagar chuckled dryly. He paced around the young mouse. "Heh, aww you hurt my feelings" the insane fox sniggered sarcastically.

Mattimeo was about to trip Slagar, but Slagar nimbly avoided the mouse's foot. He knelt down face to face with the mouse. Mattimeo curled his nose in disgust at the fox's putrid odor. Slagar reeked of smoke, alcohol, rotting flesh, and many other repulsive smells.

When Slagar grinned, he always revealed two rows of yellowed, unhealthy, and sharp teeth. His breath was ragged and hoarse, "Don't be frightened, we'll always have each other to comfort, won't we Matti."

Mattimeo rendered speechless. He didn't want to respond. Slagar gently grabbed hold of Mattimeo's lower jaw, "You and I will win."

SLAGAR AWAKES NOW

A flash of light glowed in Slagar's mind: before the weird dream finished. Slagar could hear faint voices in the distance. A blurry figure of a vixen was slowly becoming clear however; Slagar could not make out with what she was saying. Well, whatever it was it sounded urgent.

It was all became clear in Slagar's mind, the vixen was a healer. After slowly waking up, Slagar meekly held out a paw. In a faded whisper, he spoke, "M-mother, is that you?"

The vixen chuckled slightly. "No, my dear, now stay calm" she said, gently placing a pillow under Slagar's head.

Slagar groaned in agony. Now the figures became clear. Slagar's eyes went wide after a large, male, brown rat wearing a red-violet tunic approached the scene. "How is he, doc?" the rat asked the vixen healer.

The vixen placed a paw on Slagar's forehead. "Poor fox, he suffered from major brain damage. He's lucky that you didn't kill him with that van of yours" she said sternly to the rat.

The rat sniffed in mock displeasure, "Well one, he's always had brain damage. Two, it's hard to drive when you're not driving a four-wheeler. Three, I have horrible depth-reception." He pointed a claw at the eye patch that covered his left eye.

The vixen fiddled with the fringe of her dress. "Well, if you weren't so careless, you would've stopped and waited for him to pass, rat!" she growled.

The rat was really losing his temper now. "How the heck am I supposed to stop when the brakes on this tin can doesn't obey its master?"

"Well, if you had it fixed properly, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"How was I supposed to know that the mechanic was a fake?"

"You should've checked on Minkipedia, one eye!"

"There isn't any Wi-fi in this part of Mossflower, plus my iTATO laptop broke, bush tail"

"*gasp* bush tail yerself, bell bottom!"

"I'll show you bell bottom, snipe nose!"

"Snipe nose? Why you little pest!"

"I ain't no pest, fleabag!"

"You're covered in more fleas than me, dirt bag!"

"At least I take my showers, mud magnet!"

"Pfft bull, you don't even use soap, chicken!"

"I do use soap, skunk breath!"

"Hey some of my best friends are skunks, rotten grog!"

"Whabababu you take that back, drug dealer!"

"They aren't drugs, they're herbs, hairball!"

"That's it; you're so dead, fox-witch!"

"I say but, where's my mask, wot?" Slagar said to stop the argument. The two froze instantly. They were dumbfounded by the way Slagar spoke.

The vixen re-approached Slagar. "Uh, why did you speak like a hare?" she asked.

Slagar gave a small awkward laugh, "Whoa-ho, because I am a hare, dontcha know!" The rat and the vixen stared at each other while the maddened fox laughed gleefully.

The rat bent over to say a few whispered words in the vixen's ear. After nodding in agreement, the vixen gave Slagar his mask back. She bowed her head politely to Slagar. "Pardon me for my rude words from earlier, but I don't think we've properly introduced. My name's Fortunata, and this is Cluny the Scourge" she said smiling in a friendly way.

Cluny waved a few fingers cheerfully. "Hello Slagar, remember me?" Cluny asked, shaking Slagar's paw happily. An awkward silence broke out between the three, only Cluny kept smiling.

Slagar's eyes grew wide. He slowly stood up. Cluny's expression faded into a scared frown. He threw his paws over his face: thinking Slagar would hurt him for killing his mother.

Slagar raised a paw. Cluny whimpered in fear and closed his eye shut. He then noticed something odd; Slagar was patting him gently on the back like an old friend. "Oh indeed I do, Cluny. How's me ole pal doin, wot?" Slagar laughed joyfully.

Cluny blushed bright pink. Slagar was treating him like they knew each other for many years. Cluny chuckled nervously, "Uh fine mate, you?" Before Slagar could reply, a red rat in a pink dress leaped gracefully out of the van.

He landed right at the feet of Cluny. The three stood dumbfounded at the red rat. Cluny slapped a paw on his face and shook his head shamefully. The red rat strolled daintily towards Slagar. He grabbed the edges of his dress then curtsied politely to the fox.

When he spoke, he sounded like a teenage boy going through a voice change (think Ritsu from Fruits Basket). "Good day to you sir, I'm glad that you're okay" he said closing his eyes.

Slagar was about to answer but Cluny cut him off. "Redtooth you idiot! You know that wearing a dress in public could ruin your reputation!" Cluny yelled smacking the back of Redtooth's head.

Redtooth wiped some eyeliner off his eyebrow. "Aww chief, but cross-dressing makes me feel beautiful" he whimpered. A small tear dripped off his whiskers. He took out a pink handkerchief with white-colored lace on it, and wiped his eyes daintily.

Cluny rolled his single eye. He then snatched the pink cloth away from Redtooth. Hastily, he stuffed it in his belt. He looked at the odd rat with a disgusted face (the kind of face Cluny makes when someone mentions vegetables).

Redtooth grinned sheepishly as Cluny waved his whip-like tail dangerously. Redtooth then looked down to avoid Cluny's deadly stare.

"Listen Redtooth-" Cluny began, "you can wear dresses at the Rat-scouts meetings, but not here. Understand?" Cluny's voice softened a bit. Good news for the cross-dresser. Redtooth nodded franticly then pranced back into the van.

Cluny smiled as the odd rat entered the van. He turned his head. His entire body and facial expressions changed. He stood in horror at the horrible sight. There, sitting in the grass was Slagar and Fortunata having a tea party... without him.

Feeling quite left out, he folded his arms then stomped his foot sternly. The two foxes looked up at him with silly expressions on their faces. Slagar smiled from ear to ear. "Ah there you are Cluny my fair chap. Would you care for some orange spice tea?" Slagar asked, holding out a cup of tea for Cluny.

Not wanting to seem like a pansy or some kind of school girl, Cluny rudely pushed the cup away from him. The tea splashed onto Slagar's footpaw, but he didn't mind. "I don't want yer nasty dishwater! I was just waiting for you guys to get back on track, you fools!" Cluny yelled, causing Slagar to cover his ears.

Fortunata stood up then placed a friendly paw on Cluny's shoulder. She grinned oafishly. "Cluny, Cluny, Cluny. Whatever shall we do for you to make you happy?" she giggled.

Cluny thought about this for a moment, and then broke down into a crybaby sob. Slagar shook his head in grief. "Tut, tut, why does the great warlord Cluny sob to a simple question, wot" he piped up.

Cluny brushed tears from his single eye. "Oh it's just that the thing I want the most is-"

"Redwall?" Redtooth interrupted from inside the van. Without looking, Cluny threw a rock at the cross-dresser. The rock hit him right in the "happy place." Redtooth fell over sobbing pathetically.

Cluny wiped snot from his nose then calmed down a little bit. "I always wanted... A FURBY!" he cried. The foxes stared at the one-eyed rat. After five minutes of total silence, the foxes busted out laughing.

Cluny turned cherry-red from embarrassment. He was about to knock the two foxes heads together when a voice called out, "Well the truth comes out."

The three froze. They searched around franticly to find out where this creepy voice came from. Suddenly, a male black rat with glowing red eyes appeared from behind a nearby tree. It was very difficult to see him in the darkness of the night.

He brushed some dried leaves off his charcoal-black kimono (which he wore very sloppily). He smiled and chuckled softly. "Well, now Cluny, I've say you made quite a few new friends" he said.

Cluny smiled ear to ear. Fortunata and Slagar just sat dumbfounded by the mysterious rat in a Japanese garment. Cluny ran up to him and gave him a huge man hug. "Shadow my ole friend! I haven't seen you since Redwall season one!" Cluny squealed, hugging Shadow tighter.

Shadow wriggled himself free of Cluny's suffocating hug. He chuckled fondly and patted Cluny on the back. "Yes, it has been a long time. Twelve years already? Man time sure flies by" he said to his old friend.

Shadow then turned his attention to Redtooth, who made a complete recovery from Cluny's rock. Shadow grinned thoughtfully. "Well, well, well, if that isn't a rat wearing drag. I must say, what have you guys been doing since I died?" Shadow asked scratching his chin.

Cluny sat down on a log a related everything from the time that Shadow died, to episode thirteen; 'The Final Conflict.'

Shadow grew very interested as Cluny told his heroic adventures at Redwall Abbey. Slagar and Fortunata grew too bored listening to the rat warlord talk, so they played Uno instead of listening.

After many hours past, and many games played, they were finally back on track. Cluny looked a Shadow curiously. "Shadow, why are you wearing that robe?"

Shadow looked at Cluny for a second then cleared his throat. "Oh this? I'm no longer a thief anymore. I'm a novelist."

Slagar dropped the tea tray on hard forest floor with shock. "You're a novelist?" Slagar yelped as the tea set crashed down. Fortunata grunted in anger for Slagar breaking her tea set.

Shadow smiled cheerfully. "Yes," he answered.

"What kind of novels?" Slagar asked growing very interested. Fortunata mumbled to her-self when she picked up the broken pieces of her tea set.

Shadow sat down next to Cluny. He pulled out a book from one of his wide sleeves. "I write these" he said holding out a romance novel. Everybeasts was shocked at the rat's writing material. The title read, "The lovers' midnight secrets."

"Oops" Shadow laughed sheepishly as he quickly set the book aside and pulled out a different book. "That one was just for fun, here's my real work."

Everyone was still in disbelief of the rat's new hobby. Shadow then turned his attention towards the van. "What's that?" he asked.

Cluny sighed in relief that somebeast noticed the strange thing. "Oh that, um well, it all started this morning-"

CLUNY'S VAN STORY

Cluny stretched and rubbed the drowsiness from his eye as he woke up. "Ahh what a beautiful morning" he sighed listening to the birds singing. He got out of bed then walked out of his room (he sleeps in his clothes).

He slid down on the stair railings and plopped down on a big couch. He set his footpaws on the table and sighed in satisfaction. He grabbed his tail-barb and began putting on a fresh layer of poison on it. Suddenly, his cell-phone rang.

He jumped in surprise as the phone rang. The phone's ring tone was "Carol of the bells", so it was unexpected for this time of year.

Without hesitation, Cluny answered the call. "Hello?" he asked. The voice on the other line sounded just like him.

"Cluny, this is Badrang reminding you that you have to deliver fifty Rat-scout cookies today. If you don't sell fifty by midnight next Sunday, you lose a badge" the voice answered.  
>Cluny slapped his head. "Doh! I forgot that today's Tuesday, the day we start selling them. Sigh, okay, I'll get my cart and horse ready and I'll call in some others to help me" Cluny said checking his calendar.<p>

"Okay, see you Sunday" Badrang replied before hanging up. Cluny placed his cell-phone on the coffee table then sped out the door.

Before leaving the house, Cluny ate a quick breakfast of Cap'n Clogg's Crunch and Pop scones. He placed an ice cube on his burnt tongue from when he chugged down his Molebucks coffee.

After getting everything he needed, Cluny sent a few text messages to some friends to help him make the deliveries. Within a short time, five of Cluny's friends arrived at Cluny's front porch.

Cheesethief saluted and straightened his whiskers in Cluny's respect. "Aye chief, what are we gonna be doin today?" he asked at ease. A runty little rat tripped Cheesethief.

"The same thing we do everyday Cheesy, try to take over Redwall" he sneered. A grayish-brown rat with orange eyes slapped the runty rat upside the head. "Ouch, Nipwort, why'd you hit me you big bully" the little rat whined rubbing his sore head.

Nipwort frowned sternly at the rude rat. "You're not supposed to give out our plans, Vitch" he said sternly. Vitch giggled as he heard the other rat's weird squeaky voice.

Just then, a hunched-back rat wearing a suit and had tattoos, joined in on the conversation, "He's telling the truth. If you tell Cluny's battle plans to everybeasts, everyone will get the idea that it is okay to tell other's about other people's secrets. Therefore, we should try to not spill the beans and keep our mouths shut. But yet; in order to receive oxygen by using our mouths, we should only use words that aren't exposing anybody's deepest secrets, and using simple breathing methods to help us breath better."

The two stared at him puzzlingly. The rat sighed. "What I'm saying is that we should not tell anyone about other's secrets or plans."

The two nodded understandingly. "Gee Fangburn, you've gotten smarter since that badger chick threw you against the wall, or did she bite you?" Cheesethief asked the rather intelligent rat. Fangburn helped his fellow comrade off the ground.

Fangburn scratched his head in deep thought. "Hmm, I think it was both. Say Cluny, why did you call us here?" Fangburn asked the dozing off Scourge.

Cluny yawned and then turned his attention to his friends. "Alrighty, I need help delivering these Rat-scout cookies to the people who ordered them. Fangburn, you deliver these ten boxes of cookies to people in the quarry. Cheesethief, you deliver these cookies to the people in the Redwall Abbey area. Vitch, you deliver these cookies to the people who live within the dark pine area. Nipwort, you deliver these cookies to the people at the shores of Salamandastron. And finally, Redtooth, you and I will deliver these cookies to the Guosim." Cluny explained handing each rat a wagon with ten boxes of cookies in each.

Vitch shifted his paws on the ground nervously. "Sigh, now what?" Cluny moaned at the nervous rat.

Vitch looked down at his footpaws. "I don't like the dark pines, there's many weird creatures there. The painted ones are always dancing and partying to the same song. In addition their ruler's too vain and weird. I don't think I can make it" he whined.

Cluny smiled then pulled out a spray can. "Here's some lemur-stay-away-spray, it'll help you get rid of those party animals" he said handing Vitch the can. Vitch squealed with joy then ran to make the deliveries.

After the others left, Cluny turned his focus on Redtooth, who was putting on lipstick. Cluny grabbed the back of Redtooth's frilly dress collar and dragged him over by where the cart stood.

Cluny and Redtooth stared at the cart. The cart was broken into tiny pieces. "TERMITES!" Cluny screamed throwing a termite infested chunk of wood into the bushes. Redtooth patted his leader's back comfortingly.

"There, there chief. I'm sure those nice guys will let us use their cart" Redtooth said pointing to a small band of vermin, who were sitting near an odd looking cart. Cluny's eye widened. Without any more delays, he grabbed Redtooth's arm and ran towards the small band.

They were five feet away from the small band when Cluny plugged his nose in disgust. Redtooth cringed disgustedly. "Urg chief, you should've warned me before you cut the cheese" Redtooth moaned.

Cluny yanked Redtooth's ear very violently. So violent that it ripped out one of Redtooth's diamond earrings. "That wasn't me, pudden head. It's those vermin."

Redtooth was about to cry when suddenly a large, fat weasel strolled up with a goofy grin on his face. "Hey man, lay off the little man-maid. You're supposed to love your pals, not hate. why don't you come with us, and we'll share the love man" he said with his soothingly calm voice.

Cluny gagged at the smell of this Hippy weasel. "Erm, no thanks mate. We were just wondering if we could barrow you cart?" Cluny said, trying to make his voice sound as polite as he could.

The weasel grinned and adjusted his peace necklace. "Sure pirate dude, anything for a stranger" he said walking towards his group. When his dirty shawl blew, the faint smell of deadly herbs filled Redtooth's nose.

"Ugh, he needs a bath big time" Redtooth moaned almost puking. Cluny elbowed him to shut him up. Redtooth gave a short "oof" then went silent.  
>At that moment, a drunken stoat's voice rang out, "Hey Threeclaws-BURP, should<br>we-BURP clean the van for our-BURP new friends?"

Threeclaws smiled and took out a bunch of organic cleaning stuff. "Yes Halftail, we should, we don't want the rat dudes feeling not so peaceful on their long trip" he said cleaning the van. Within a split second, the van was cleaner that a new one.

"Gee, if only they could get themselves that clean" Redtooth said to himself before being elbowed by Cluny again. Many seconds past and the two rats left to deliver cookies in the Hippy vermin's clean van.

END OF CLUNY'S VAN STORY

Well, Cluny's van story took the rest of the night, and the whole day, so now it was the next night. Fortunata searched around the bushes to find some berries to munch on, when all of a sudden, three ratmaids jumped out of the bushes chanting, clapping, and dancing.

L-O-V-E  
>Cluny, Cluny, We love Cluny<br>Love, love, love, love, love, love  
>Love, love, love, love, love, love<br>LOVE

Fortunata jumped back in surprise at the three ratmaids' sudden appearance. The three all put their paws on their hips and got into Fortunata's face. They had jealous, angry, and snobbish expressions on their faces.

"So what is Miss Fortunata doing with our beloved Cluny?"

"Yeah every girl beast knows that Cluny is the most hottest rat in all of Mossflower"

"So what are you doing with him, fox?" the last one finished.

Fortunata stuttered fearfully. "It was just a coincidence" she said frightened. The three frowned upon the fox healer.

"You probably just wanted Prince Cluny all to yourself, vixen"

"Cluny doesn't even like foxes"

"Yeah, he'd rather skin them alive" the last one sneered. Somebeast grabbed the ratmaid's shoulder from behind. She whirled her head around and looked up at the one who grabbed her. She froze in place as she saw him staring down at her with his unusual eyes.

"She said it was a coincidence" his voice was harsh and kinda monotone. The little rat maid tore away from his grip.  
>"You need to mind your own business, rat. Who asked for your input" she said,<br>rudely. Suddenly, a dark force filled the air as a black fox with pale eyes arrived at the scene. The ratmaids coward in fear then was chased by the fox with weird "wave" powers.

The rat that saved Fortunata turned his attention to her. "You okay, ma'am?" he asked helping her up (she fell when the fox arrived). She brushed herself off then nodded.

The rat's face was blank, and he wasn't too big on talking, but he managed to give a small grin. "Well I'm glad Farran chased those ratmaids off, they're really annoying" he said changing back to his normal impassive self. Fortunata slowly nodded.

The two walked back to join the little group. Slagar's jaw dropped as he saw the rat arrive. "Stonefleck, my fair chap, why are you doing here in this part of the woods, wot?" Slagar yelled excitedly.

Stonefleck cocked an eyebrow in confusion at the fox's awkward new speech. He knelt down besides Cluny and whispered into his ear, "Why's the fox speaking posh?" Cluny stared at the happy fox then back at Stonefleck.

"He got hit by one of the slaves' rocks, when they stoned Malkariss to death" he lied/whispered back. Stonefleck stared at Slagar once more then sat down on a tree stump.

He sighed then looked up into the night sky. "Strange how a bunch of idiots manage to stay awake like this" he mused. The two foxes and Cluny stared at each other in wonder.

Shadow finally broke the awkward silence, "Say Cluny, aren't you supposed to be delivering Rat-scout cookies?" Stonefleck snickered slyly after Shadow spoke. It's funny to imagine a big warlord like Cluny selling cookies.

Cluny stretched then replied, "I already did, I just got to return the van back to those hippies" he yawned. Suddenly without warning, thunder boomed over head and it started to pour down rain. Cluny wiped rain water from his eye. "Everybeast into the van, now!" he shouted.

Without being reminded, everyone rushed into the van. Thank God the van was a big van or else everybody would have to squeeze in. No one was really wet, but Slagar was crestfallen.

"Aww Cluny, can we at least get my mask back?" Slagar complained. The rat warlord was losing his temper at the fox's non-stop complaining on how he left his mask outside. Slagar cried and whined non-stop for twenty minutes, till Cluny silenced him by hitting him with a crowbar.

"There's my crowbar" Shadow inquired, putting his seatbelt on. Cluny walked over to the driver's seat. He rudely picked up the sleeping Redtooth and threw him at the back seat. Redtooth moaned from his rude awakening but finally managed to fall asleep at the back seat.

Cluny stretched his arms then put his seatbelt on. "Everybeast, fasten your seatbelts, we're going to find some place to sleep for tonight" he advised every one. Everyone hastily went to their seats and buckled up. Suddenly they heard a banging from outside the van.

Cluny rolled down his window and searched around for the one who was making the banging sounds. It was really hard for Cluny to see in the dark scenery, plus it was raining hard. A gloved paw grabbed onto Cluny's window sill.

The rat squeaked in fear as a male black fox came into view. He was covered in mud and his plum cloak was torn and dirty. "Let me in" he whispered faintly. Cluny avoided the fox's deadly stare from his pale, amber eyes. Without hesitation, Cluny opened the van door.

The mysterious fox closed the van door after entering the van. He was soaking wet from head to toe. Fortunata handed the black fox a dry towel. He accepted it then dried himself off. He then plopped down on the seat near Stonefleck. The fox put on his seatbelt and crossed his legs as if he were meditating.

He leaned over to where Stonefleck sat. "Got rid of Rinj, Wilce, and Laggle for you" he whispered into the rat's ear, "But I don't think Sagitar would be pleased that I chased off a few members of the Prince Cluny Fan-club. She gets dangerous when we chase them off."

Stonefleck nodded in agreement, "Nice work Farran, it's so nice that you have those wave powers to scare them off. But we have to keep an eye on that sly-faced one, she reports everything to their leader." Just as Stonefleck finished talking, the van started up then they drove down the muddy road.

Fortunata was sitting behind Farran. She looked over to where Cluny was. He was too focused to pay attention to the passengers. Knowing that Cluny was to busy, Fortunata unbuckled her seatbelt and popped her out from behind Farran's seat.

He looked up at the healer vixen. She smiled down at him. "Thank you for getting rid of those fan-club girls" she said cheerfully. Farran bowed his head then looked forward. Fortunata's heart sank a little. She then looked over to where Stonefleck sat. "Is he normally this quiet?" she asked the rat.

Stonefleck nodded his head slowly. "Yes, this was the first time I ever heard him talk. He doesn't like talking. So don't be offended if he doesn't respond. Bowing his head is a way of welcoming others" he explained.

"You aren't very fond of talking yourself" Shadow's voice said from behind Stonefleck. The rat chieftain hastily unbuckled his seatbelt. He stood up on his seat then hit Shadow in the head for the remark he made. He then sat back down and buckled up.

Shadow rubbed his head in pain. He groaned faintly but then went back to his "normal" self. Suddenly, the van broke down in the middle of nowhere. Cluny hit the steering wheel in anger. This was going to be a long night.

Without anybeast asking, Cluny grabbed a poncho, a flashlight, and a tool bag that was behind the seat. He unbuckled his seatbelt and walked outside. A cold breeze blew rainwater into the van, startling Slagar. "I say fair chaps but, what ever happened to supper? And why does it smell like wet dog in here, wot?" he yawned.

All eyes were on the messed-up fox. Unbuckling his seatbelt, Stonefleck answered rather flatly, "We never had supper, you great feed bag. It's raining really hard." A moan fell from Slagar's deadened lips.

"Ah poohy, and I was looking forward to some fresh-baked scones and some hot mint tea" Slagar complained stepping out of the van. The rest just ignored the posh fox and started playing Rich Man, Poor Man, a card game.

Stonefleck slammed the deck on the small game table. "Alright a continuation from our last game. I'll destroy you this time" he challenged Shadow.

Shadow stood up boldly. He clenched his fist and grinned. "You're on, and if I win, you have to dye your headfur pink" Shadow replied rolling his wide kimono sleeves up.

The gray rat cracked his tail dangerously. "Okay, but if you lose, you have to wear black contact lens" he hissed. He was more violent towards Shadow now, because Shadow found out about his headfur.

A light of rivalry glistened in Shadow's red eyes. "They're naturally this color!" he barked. Not wanting to get caught up in this situation, Slagar went to the front of the van to help Cluny.

Cluny had his tail wrapped around the flashlight and held it up to give him light. He was busily working on the van. Slagar appeared right beside him. Cluny held out a grease covered paw. "Slagar, can you hand me that screwdriver please" he said while still working on the van.

Slagar searched in the tool bag blindly. "Is this it, wot?" he said holding out a hammer. Cluny pushed it aside.

"No that's a hammer"

"How about this?"

"That's a wrench, moron"

"Oh, wot about this?"

"I said screwdriver, not pliers!"

"Sorry, is this a screwdriver?"

"Urg you dunder head, that's my lunch!"

"Oops, is this it?"

"No that's a drill. I need a screwdriver"

"Sorry sir, how's this?"

"Ugh can you tell the different between a screwdriver and a can-opener?"

Slagar shook his head no then pulled out another tool. "How 'bout this then, wot?"

Cluny slapped a greasy paw on his face. "That's the same hammer." The two went on like this for fifteen minutes until Slagar finally gave Cluny the right tool.

Cluny went back to see what the van's problem was, but grunted in disappointment. "Blasted, this thing's gone for good. There's no way of fixing this bucket of bolts" Cluny kicked the front of the van which caused the stick that was holding the hood up, to give out. The hood slammed on Cluny's paw. He shrieked in pain.

Cluny danced about in pain and held his injured paw into his mouth to numb the pain. Slagar was about to speak when a cloaked male fox collided into him.

Slagar landed in the mud with the fox on top of him. The other fox closed his eyes shut and shivered from the cold. Feeling rather awkward, Slagar gently tapped the strange fox on the shoulder. "Excuse me sah, but I'm afraid I'm a malebeast."

The other fox's eyes opened wide as he jumped back and landed in the patch of wet grass in front of Slagar. The fox wasn't wearing anything really. Only a tattered, muddy, yellow cloak, and a belt served as his clothes. He shook in fear and from the coldness.

"S-sorry sir, I was just running from fan girls" his voice was high-pitched and was almost like a whine. Slagar stood up and brushed mud off himself.

"Hmm, at first I thought you were running for shelter of this sky juice, wot" Slagar said helping the strange fox up. The fox shook himself vigorously to rid himself of the water.

The strange fox looked over at Cluny. "What's he so happy about, did he find gold?" the fox asked. Slagar snickered as he imagined Cluny picking his nose.

Slagar patted the fox on the back. "You remind me a lot of myself when I was young. Wot's your name my fair chap" Slagar said smiling at his new friend. The fox chuckled.

"My name's Skalrag, Skalrag Flameblood" the fox answered puffing out his narrow chest in a dignified way. Slagar wrapped his arm around Skalrag's shoulders, and chuckled heartily.

"Well Skalrag, let's be friends. Do you have a FoxBook account?" Slagar asked with a beam of hope shining in his eyes. Skalrag laughed joyfully.

"Do I, Hell yeah I do" Skalrag laughed pulling out his cell-phone. The two foxes then started texting to each other. They were so busy that they didn't notice Cluny tapping his footpaw on the ground impatiently.

The game was pretty heated between the two rats. They weren't going to let either one win. "What, that's cheating!" Stonefleck yelled madly at the black rat.

"No it ain't" Shadow yelled back.

"You b******! Why don't I teach you a lesson?"

"I'd like to see you try, j***-***!"

The two's heated quarrel was interrupted by the eerie voice of Farran, (who was also playing, along with Fortunata) "Revolution." He placed his card down. The game was now more challenging.

Well, after waiting for "Tweedle Dum" (Slagar) and "Tweedle Dee" (Skalrag) to finish their bonding, Cluny finally spoke, "Alright, we aren't getting nowhere with you two talking on your cell phones and with those guys waking up the whole woods with their yelling. And you two are wetter than water" The two foxes stared at each other dumbly.

Suddenly Skalrag lightened up. "Hey, I hear you guys are looking for a place to sleep tonight. I know a place where we can rest. An old abandoned-" Skalrag started before he was interrupted by Slagar singing.

Love Shack  
>Baby Love Shack<br>Ahh the Love Shack babbbyyy...

Cluny tripped Slagar, and Slagar fell into the mud. "You mean you know of a place where we can rest?" Cluny asked with a sound of hope in his voice. Skalrag smiled broadly at the eager rat.

"Sure I do, it's just behind those tall trees" Skalrag replied pointing to a large house hiding behind a row of tall trees. Cluny strained his single and tired eye into the curtain of rain. He smiled cheerfully and hugged the odd fox.

Skalrag's eyes shifted from the awkward moment. "You know, you sound an awful lot like Badrang" Skalrag said pushing Cluny off him. Cluny ignored the fox's statement. Skalrag didn't mind at all. The three then walked back to the others with Cluny holding the flashlight and Slagar carrying the toolbox.

Well, the three arrived to see the two rats sitting far apart from each other and Redtooth was tied to a chair with the joker card duct-taped to his mouth. Cluny's eye shifted from one rat to the other. It was quiet, too quiet. The only sounds were the sound of rain and thunder.

Cluny shook his head gravely. "Alright, what happened?" he asked calmly folding his arms. The two rats never answered.

Finally Shadow spoke. "We were playing our game, till Redtooth woke up and accidentally tripped over Stonefleck's tail, and caused all of our cards to blow out the window. All was left was the joker card. So as a punishment, we tied him up for ruining our game" Shadow explained, pointing an accusing claw at the tied-up Redtooth who groaned in shame.

Cluny nodded, and then looked at Redtooth with a stern look on his face. "Is that true, Redtooth?'

Not being able to speak at the moment, Redtooth nodded sadly. Cluny rolled his single eye. He then walked into the van and took the keys out. Everyone who was inside stared at the rat with puzzled faces. "What are you doing Cluny?" asked Fortunata.

Cluny nodded towards Skalrag and Slagar. "The fox, Skalrag, knows a place where we can rest" he said pulling out several hooded-cloaks. He handed the cloaks to Stonefleck, Shadow, Redtooth, and Fortunata. The others already had cloaks, so he didn't give them any.

"So, this fox knows where shelter is?" Stonefleck asked, adjusting the leaf-shaped clasp of his black cloak. Skalrag nodded smartly. Stonefleck then jumped out of the van. He landed safely on the soft wet grass. "Hmm, so we're just leaving the van here?" he asked helping the others get out.

Cluny was about to answer when Skalrag talked love-struck to Fortunata. "You know, your eyes are like twin opals in the moonlight" he said with a love-struck look on his face. Fortunata blushed at the fox's comment.

"Tee-hee, Skalrag's got the hots" Shadow teased/sang after untying Redtooth. Skalrag turned bright red. He threw a clump of wet grass at the novelist. Stonefleck narrowed his eyes in disgust.

"Tch, romances, they bring you nothing but trouble" he muttered. Skalrag looked at the rat with a shocked expression.

"You mean, you don't like romances?" Skalrag asked putting his hood over his head.

Stonefleck brushed rain water off his bow. "I didn't say I don't like them, it's just that, I haven't found the right girl for me. That's why I think they're trouble. I don't think I'll ever fall in love. You actually can't get away from the girls who love you."

Skalrag looked down at his footpaws sadly. He felt sorry for the lonely rat. Well that moment ended when Cluny whistled them to get moving.

With Skalrag in the lead and Redtooth in the back, the group was on the move once more.

Traveling was slow and difficult, because of the rain, but otherwise the group was making progress. No one spoke the whole time and Slagar was getting tired of the deadly silent. Suddenly he blurted out, "I'm hungry! Can't we stop at a Burger Tyrant or something, wot. I'm so famished." Cluny reached behind him and grabbed a sack lunch from his belt.

"Here, eat this" he said handing the fox the sack, "It'll hold you over till later. And it'll keep your mouth shut." Slagar examined the contents of the lunch carefully. It was edible enough for the hare/fox.

The wind blew harder. Cluny looked around worriedly. He leaned over to Skalrag. "Psst, Skalrag, I have a feeling somebeast's watching us from within these trees" he whispered into Skalrag's good ear.

Skalrag's ears shifted. Then he looked up into the trees. Sure enough there was some faint movements. He then whispered back to Cluny, "It's probably some squirrel." Cluny blew rain water from his muzzle.

He placed his hand over his eye as he peered into the rainy scenery. "How much further, fox?" Skalrag added the numbers on his eight fingers.

"Oh, we're almost there. Like a few more yards" he answered shaking rain water from his little patch of headfur on his head.

Cluny yawned quietly, "Well, we better get there quick, the rain's coming down harder and harder." Cluny's ears stood up as he heard a branch snap. Feeling a little insecure, Cluny walked over to Stonefleck.

"Listen mate, there's a beast watching us. I want you to keep an eye on those trees for any sudden movement" he whispered in Stonefleck's ear. Stonefleck nodded then did what Cluny told him.

Right when Cluny walked back to where he was, a tree branch snapped over head. Everyone had their weapons at ready. Cluny eyed at Skalrag's weapon, "How is a feather going to kill somebeast?"

Skalrag stomped his footpaw madly. "Because I died from a feather, stupid. Maybe that bell hit you too hard?" Cluny rolled his eye sarcastically. Just at that moment, the tree branch that was right above Stonefleck, gave out. "Stonefleck watch out!" Skalrag yelled.

Stonefleck nimbly dodged the branch and a little ratmaid fell down to earth. Stonefleck quickly caught the maid just before she landed. He held her in his arms. The ratmaid was shivering madly. She was scared and freezing.

Her eyes were shut tight and she wrapped her arms around Stonefleck's neck for comfort. Noticing that everything was going okay, she slowly opened her eyes. For the very first time in his life, Stonefleck felt the feeling of love.

The ratmaid stared in amazement of her rescuer. She felt the same feeling he felt. The two were meant to be. Aww how romantic.

The ratmaid's eyes glowed luminously in the darkness. She rested her head on Stonefleck's chest and fell soundly asleep. Stonefleck carefully carried the ratmaid the rest of their journey.

"Aww, they say it was raining cats and dogs, but they never said ratmaids" Shadow laughed. Stonefleck stared at the black rat with his impassive eyes.

Suddenly Skalrag's voice rang out. "We're here." The group ran towards the abandoned house, ignoring the mud that splashed onto their cloaks.

They arrived at the house (which was more like a mansion). Cluny knocked on the door madly. Skalrag opened the huge doors quietly. "I think it's abandoned Cluny, so I don't think you'll get an answer."

"Aww, but I like knocking on doors" Cluny said, frowning. Redtooth looked at his chief, confused.

"Then how come I had to knock on the door when we first entered Redwall Abbey?" he asked shivering.

"Because I was too lazy" Cluny admitted. Suddenly an eerie voice came from inside the mansion.

"Dooooommmmm!" the voice said. Everyone froze in fear. Then the voice rang out again but this time louder, "Doooooommmm, I say, dooooommmm!" Everybeast shifted on their paws nervously, except Farran, who showed no sign of fear.

"W-who's there?" Skalrag said nervously poking his head inside. There was no answer. A few minutes past of total silence.

Cluny bravely walked in, "Come on mates, it's either death by the cold or a creepy mansion?" The gang had no real choice and followed Cluny.

Redtooth slowly closed the door behind them. The mansion was warm, dark, and very musky smelling. But it provided good shelter. It was old and dingy. Cobwebs and dust was everywhere. It looked like something from a horror story.

Putting on a brave face, Cluny cheerfully said, "This place ain't so bad. There's creepier beings traveling with us than this place. No offence to Slagar, Stonefleck, Shadow, and Farran." The four that were mentioned nodded their heads and took no offence.

A light slowly appeared from around the corner. An old rabbit holding a lantern came into view. He looked like a ghost. He pointed a frail paw meekly at the group of wet and muddy vermin. "Welcome to my home" his words were reedy and very faint.

Realizing that this was the same voice they heard before, Slagar approached the old rabbit. "Erm pardon me for asking this sah, but do you happen to be the one who said 'doom' earlier, wot?" he asked the ghostly rabbit.

The old rabbit smiled and placed a feeble paw on Slagar's shoulder. "Sorry my friend, I was just reading a book to my wife, Silth. Oh pardon my manners, my name's Alfred, Alfred Withlebothum" said the rabbit, bowing his head low.

Slagar was about to introduce himself but Cluny rudely pushed him aside. "Well Alfred, we are in need of rest and shelter. Do you think we stay here for the night?" Cluny asked. The old rabbit nodded cheerfully.

"Sure you can, we always accept visitors. I'll see to it that you guys get the best hospitality we can give" Alfred said waving his hand to a nearby polecat. The polecat was older than Alfred, and was well groomed. He wore a tuxedo and had a friendly smile on his face.

Alfred stepped aside to allow the polecat through. "This is Malkariss, my butler. He'll take your belongings" Alfred said. The group handed Malkariss their dirty wet clothes.

Realization struck Slagar and Stonefleck. At the same time they blurted out, "Malkariss?" The butler polecat smiled cheerfully then went about his buissness.

And something else struck Slagar. Realization that the old rabbit's wife was Silth. "Well curl me whiskers, the rabbit's married to a Marlfox" he chuckled, stroking his head in amazement.

Alfred smiled then allowed a young ottermaid through. "This is Mhera, she'll take you upstairs to get you guys bathed and ready for bed." The ottermaid curtsied politely then held Cluny's paw.

"Come young sirs and misses, I'll take you to the baths" she had the voice of an angel. Despite the fact that she was a goodbeast, the group accepted her help. Then there was another knock at the door.

The old rabbit shuffled slowly towards the door. "Oh I wonder who it is this time?" he said cheerfully. He opened the door but was knocked over by a big black bird.

The bird spread his wings out and flapped them. Rain water sprayed everywhere. Then he puffed out his chest then announced in his pompous voice, "I'm General Ironbeak, and I thank you kind old hare for letting me and these other horrible vermin inside."

Slagar leapt in fear and landed on Cluny. He hugged him tightly and wept like a baby. Cluny snarled in disgust and threw the fox off him. Slagar landed right at the feet of Ironbeak.

The self-centered bird gazed down disgustedly at the fox. "Oh, get this wretched fox out of my sight please; he's ruining my beautiful eyes, tweet tweet."

Alfred picked himself up then smiled at the annoying bird. "Well sir, why don't you fly up to the attic, it's very cozy and suit for a king. Oh and I must remind you that I'm indeed a rabbit, not a hare" Alfred said showing Ironbeak the way to the attic.

Ironbeak clacked his beak in satisfaction then flew up towards the attic. Let's admit it, Alfred just really wanted to get rid of the bird.

Then another group of vermin arrived, just before Alfred closed the door. As always, he allowed them in.

A barbaric ferret was the first one to enter. He strolled up to Alfred. He looked up at the rabbit (he was a tad bit small for a ferret). He took out his dagger then placed it into the paws of Alfred. "Sir, I swear on my oath that I will not go crazy when I see an otter what so ever. Even if it's a female."

Alfred gave the weapon to a nearby mouse (who happened to be Matthias). He smiled broadly. "Well, I see you've recovered greatly since the Taggerung left off with your wife, Sawney."

Sawney stood up boldly. "Yes, I've over come a lot since she left me... FOR A STUPID OTTER!" he yelled twitching madly. The others backed away from the weird ferret. Suddenly the ferret went into a wild frenzy.

"I'M SOOORRRRRRYYYYY! I APOLIGIZE TO THE WORRRRRRLLLLLDDDDDD! I'M SSSSSOOOOOOORRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY! FORGIVE ME GOD!I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SIIINNNN! I BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESSSSS! I'M SSSOOOOORRRRRYYYYYYYYY!" he screamed running in circles. Everyone present were terrified by the ferret's odd behavior.

A gloved paw jabbed Sawney in the side, which caused him to calm down. Another ferret with the same face tattoos came into full view. He looked at the group (who were still shocked by Sawney's out-burst). He sighed, "That's Sawney Rath, he has a very apologetic personality. But most of the time he's very shy. I'm Vallug, Vallug Bowbeast."

Stonefleck's eyes widened. He set the sleeping ratmaid (that he was still holding) down. "Vallug, is that really you?" he asked examining the drenched ferret.

The ferret rubbed his eyes in amazement. "Yes, is that really you, Stonefleck?" he asked. Stonefleck nodded vigorously.

"Yes, it is I" he replied. The two then laughed. They patted each-other on the backs like best friends. "Vallug you ole' rascal, I haven't seen you since high school" Stonefleck chuckled.

Vallug smiled and removed his wet jacket. "Neither have I, you've changed a lot since then. Heh is Granite still giving you trouble?"

Stonefleck scratched his head nervously. "Aye, he is, but he's at seas now, and has a family now. Which reminds me, do you have a family yet?" Stonefleck asked.

Vallug nodded proudly. "Indeed I do, a beautiful wife and three little ferretbabes. How about you?"

The rat frowned slightly then blushed. "Um, I'm still looking for a mate, but I'll tell you about it later."

The others stood with mouths wide open. Stonefleck showed emotion, which was a first for them. Suddenly a fat ferret being chased by a pine marten zoomed past.

The ferret waved the pine marten's wooden leg teasingly in the air. "Hurr, hurr, hurr, come an' get it, peggy" he yelled cheekily.

The pine marten was struggling to catch up. He supported himself on a thick oak cane. "Get yer thieven gob back here with mah leg, fatty!" he yelled madly. The ferret poked his tongue out at the pine marten.

"Neyh, neyh, phhhbth, ye can't get me hurr, hurr. Ye too slow pokey, bent spine" he teased running faster. The pine marten was really mad now. The fat ferret skipped teasingly and danced about mockingly.

He was about to grab the little rip but slipped in a puddle. Thank goodness he did, because when he fell, the cane slipped from his paws and hit the ferret. It caused the ferret to fall.

The ferret rubbed his head and started sobbing like a baby. "Waaaahhhhh, mummy, big meanie piny martin hit Prince Bladd wiv stick, waaahhhh!" he cried pounding his footpaws on the ground in pain.

The others rolled their eyes at the immature pure ferret. The pine marten stood up then aggresively grabbed the wooden leg from Bladd's paw. "This'll teach you to touch things without others' permission, young rip" he growled.

Bladd rubbed his throbbing head in pain. He poked his tongue out at the pine marten. "I'm the prince an' oi gets what oi's wants, yarr" he whined. The pine marten slapped the sobbing ferret across the rump.

Bladd shrieked in pain. Ignoreing his head, he held his sore bottom and kicked furiously while rolling in circles. "Wahh, now he's killing me bottom, waahhhh!"

The pine marten rolled his eyes then turned his attention towards the others. "Fortunata, I thought I told you to stay put" he scolded the vixen.

The vixen stared down at her paws shamefully. Then Skalrag spoke up, "She was helping Cluny." The pine marten looked at Skalrag then turned his focus back to Fortunata.

"Is he telling the truth?" the pine marten asked.

The vixen nodded. "Yes Ashleg, that's wot happened." Ashleg nodded understandingly then went to talk with Alfred, who was still welcoming the others who were just arriving.

A large shadow loomed over Slagar. Not daring to turn around, Slagar slowly rolled his eyes up to be face to face with a wolverine. He grinned up at the colossal beast and waved a few fingers. "Hello fair chap, wot's your name, wot?"

The wolverine held out a huge claw towards the fox. "My name's Gulo, Gulo the Gardener" his voice boomed. Slagar plugged his ears.

"Oh, so you are, wot wot" Slagar whimpered with his ears ringing. The wolverine let out a mighty laugh then pulled out a little rose and handed it to Slagar.

"I always give roses to people I like, and I like you" he said kneeling down. The fox accepted the rose with a shaky paw then ran off like a chicken with its head chopped off. Gulo scratched his head in wonderment. "Hmm, I wonder who's he so scared if? All I just wanted to do was to make new friends" Gulo said before sobbing like a big baby.

A paw touched his gently. "Kachunk!" the voice said. This cheered Gulo up.

"Where's the soda!" a voice called out. All eyes were on a small undersized rat. An undersized fox pushed him aside.

"Vitch asked, where's the beverages?" he repeated what his friend said. A crippled fox pointed a bent paw at the kitchen.

"There that way, Little Red" he said in his reedy voice. Vitch, Little Red (aka Baddred), and Prince Bladd squealed for joy then ran towards the kitchens. They were stopped by drunken stoat.

"Hey, where're you-BURP going-BURP" he said. Vitch bared his teeth.

"We're goin' to get drinks, Halftail" he hissed kicking Halftail's footpaw. The three sniggered then ran into the kitchen.

A clawed paw grabbed the back of Vitch's cloak, and another grabbed the back of Baddred's and Bladd's shirts. The three were dragged away from the kitchens. They kicked and bit furiosly at their captor, but all they got were mouthfuls of wolf fur.

"You little idiots, don't you know that soda before bed will make you pee a lot?" he said with a low growl in his voice. Vitch kicked free of the fox/wolf's grasp.

"We don't care, furball. We're thirsty" Baddred yelled. Urgan Nagru let go of the three.

"Fine, don't come crying to me when you have to go really bad and somebeast's in the bathroom" he mumbled leaving.

"EVERYBEAST SILENT!" a booming voice roared. All eyes were on a big female badger (who was Constance). She stood next to Alfred (who was still smiling). She cleared her throat then continued, "Okay, I know that this is a big mansion, but that dosen't mean there can't be rules. First of all, NO WEAPONS. Second, no killing or beating the crap out of somebeast. Third, no trying to kill Matthias, that mainly goes for Cluny and Slagar. Fourth, everybeast MUST bathe. If no one does, then I'll see that you sleep with the wearet tonight. And finally... enjoy your visit."

Cluny raised a paw. "Yes, Cluny?"

Cluny tapped his fingers together and shifted from foot to foot. "Does rule number three also go for not trying to kill either Slagar and I?"

Constance nodded. Cluny wiped his brow in relief.

Everybeast shuffled their paws on the ground. A moan roused from female sable. "Do we HAVE to take a bath?" she whined. Constance fixed her a frosty glare.

"Yes, or you'll sleep with Malkariss or worse... with-" before Constance could finished what she was saying, everybeast rushed into the showers. Constance shook her striped head sadly, "Aww and I was about to say with me"

Alfred chuckled slightly. "Face it Constance, nobeast wants to be crushed by a giant, opera singing badger with big boobs" he said to himself.

After everyone was clean and were in clean clothes, they all waited patiently for an answer on what rooms they were assigned to. A female squirrel wearing a clear green visor, walked in front of the large room.

Everybeast went dead silent, all except for Vitch, Baddred, and Bladd, because they were all drinking a ten pack of alligatorade. The squirrel swung her sling then clacked the stone sharply to silence the beasts.

She cleared her throat then began to speak, "I am Jukka, and I will be assigning the rooms. Now there's six rooms and thirty of you guys, so please don't complain if you're sharing a room with someone you hate. Now here's how it is...

Room # 111: Fortunata, Vizka Longtooth, Muggra, Ungatt Trunn, and Cheesethief  
>Room # 222: Cluny, Matthias, Skalrag, Blaggut, and Nipwort<p>

"Wait just a cotton-picking minute; I ain't sharing a room with THAT peep-squeak!" Cluny shouted, pointing at Matthias, who had the same reaction.

"Yeah, why do I have to share a room with him?" Matthias groaned.

Jukka tapped her footpaw impatiently. "Because, that is just how life goes. SO GET USED TO IT!" The two moaned and backed away from each other.

"Well now, let's get back on track-" Jukka continued.

Room # 333: Redtooth, Vilaya, Ashleg, Groddil, and Urgan Nagru  
>Room # 444: Stonefleck, mysterious ratmaid slowly waking up, Vallug, Halftail, and Slagar<br>Room # 555: Farran, Gulo, Vitch, Baddred, and Bladd  
>And finally, Room # 667: Shadow, Fangburn, Mhera, Sawney, and Halfchop<p>

There were a few scattered groans, just then a weasel raised his paw. "Yes, Muggra" Jukka said.

The weasel cleared his throat then spoke, "Why's all the rooms the same number repeating but not room 667, isn't it supposed to be 66-" he was interuppted by Cluny shutting his mouth.

A light of pure fear shined in the squirrel's eyes. When she spoke, it was very weak, "Because, three sixes mean death... to us all." Everyone gulped in fear. A yawn broke the deadly silence.

The ratmaid was waking up. She stretched and yawned. She looked around with a puzzled look on her pretty face. "Where am I, and why am I so clean?" she asked. Her voice was of that of an angel... kinda like Mhera's.

Seeing that his newly fond love had finally awoken, Stonefleck walked up to the ratmaid. He held out a paw and helped her up. His normally impassive facial expressions became kind. "You're at Alfred's mansion. The kind maids helped you get cleaned up. My name's Stonefleck" he said still holding her paw.

The ratmaid blushed madly. Her turquoise/yellow eyes lightened up. She slowly waved her tail affectionately. "M-my name's Ruerain" she answered in a gentle whisper.

In the background, Skalrag winked at Shadow. "Told ya he'd fall for her" he whispered to Shadow.

"No you didn't" Shadow replied, but Skalrag ignored him, he was too busy staring at Fortunata. Little hearts filled Skalrag's eyes as he sat there, staring at the healer vixen. Shadow rolled his eyes, but stared at Stonefleck. Something about him made Shadow very uneasy.

Well within a few minutes, everyone was in their assigned rooms.


End file.
